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Other side of the coin

19 May

As I wrote about very recently, I got some bad news from someone I love this week. However, not all weeks can be entirely bad. Yesterday I got huge and fantastic news related to my work – suffice to say a raise is involved (still a non-profit attorney – not rolling in the dough!). I immediately called to share with the ones I love.  I did a little happy dance in the stairwell of my office building. I wanted to cry because relief was washing over me. It was the full gamut of emotions. Most proudly, I didn’t suddenly jump to celebrating with food.

Yesterday I ate very well until the evening. Breakfast I had a sandwich thin with peanut butter, mashed banana, and a thin layer of Trader Joe’s new amazing honey apple butter. I had a snack of a few roasted chickpeas, and then for lunch I had leftover spinach stuffed shells with meat sauce and a half serving of edamame. Another banana in the afternoon, and before I knew it it was time to go home.

On the phone on the way home, my mom said I should celebrate, go out to dinner somewhere nice. I hesitated, thinking of my new journey and wanting to be careful about how much I was eating. I told my mom I would have to check in with my boyfriend. When I met up with him, finally, before the metro ride home, I realized how late it was already. This meant that the time for me to run outside would almost be up before I got home, because I also had to make something for a staff breakfast potluck meeting in the morning.  Instead of beating myself up about my timing – because honestly, with my supervisor out, I had been trying to balance two jobs and supervising an intern myself this week, working long hours – I decided to take control of what I could at the moment.

Dinner was leftovers from last night, so again I had a yummy habanero lime tortilla with fat free refried beans, overflowing with other veggies and salsa. I think I could eat that almost every day!

This is when temptation came in. I really wanted something sweet, so I was going to have a square of a chocolate bar. Then the chocolate that I wanted a square of was gone – so I was tempted by the Ben and Jerry’s in the freezer. I still managed to resist when my boyfriend brought up a glass of wine. It was a crisp, semi-dry white with just a hint of sweetness, and it so hit the spot. I had three water crackers with a tiny bit of Trader Joe’s light brie with it, controlling my portion but still getting something I love with wine.

So, my celebration meant breaking my no bad eating/drinking after dinner. I am happy though with my otherwise very controlled eating.

Tests begin again this morning at the potluck! I have Kath’s Baked Oatmeal Snack Bars smelling like heaven in the oven right now, and that’s what I plan to eat, along with a fruit salad that another co-worker is bringing. I’ll be avoiding the wafflemaker, the doughnuts, the breakfast potatoes…the list goes on. By bringing something that I doubt my other co-workers will really eat, I can still ensure that I am eating healthy! Maybe some of them are on journeys of their own and may appreciate my contribution, too.

The oven beeps! And I must go on to another day of healthy eating.

Bad News Bears

16 May

Today I had to deal with some bad news. I don’t want to get too into the specifics since it is not something that happened to me, but someone I love very much. I got this bad news at work today, where I had already eaten my packed lunch and the only food I had in my bag was a banana. My first instinct was to grab and eat the banana quickly to stem the tide of my sadness.

Then I thought about how eating wouldn’t make me feel any better. Sadness is sadness. Food doesn’t cure it. The momentary rush of eating would have only made me feel worse about myself later.

Again, in the afternoon I kept thinking of the things I could stop and buy for dinner. I don’t feel like cooking – so I should by Chick-fil-a! Just run into the grocery store and get a frozen pizza! Thai food! Instead, when I walked home from the Metro I called my mom and chatted with her about my day and assorted topics.

Of course, by the time I was up in my apartment the weather had changed to match my downy mood. Pouring rain falling down, darkness already enveloping my area. It was gone, but then it has returned. Sadly this means I can’t go outside and run/walk like I had planned – all the more reason to do it in the morning. My anxiety about being home alone or something kept me up way too late last night, when I battled the binge demons to finally fall asleep.

Here, today I thought I would celebrate my first #7daychip here on the blog to give myself kudos for 7 days of controlled and healthy eating. It’s not that I am not thrilled with my accomplishment, it’s that today is a reminder of the real challenges of that healthy eating. Today I have been more tempted than I was that entire week, and now it’s about trying to sustain that through all of life’s ups and downs. It’s almost as though I don’t know how to be sad or to help someone through sadness without some reference or connection to food. I will change this.

Time to make a turkey burger with my leftover turkey meat and enjoy it on a sandwich thin with a salad for dinner. 30daychip, I will really earn you more than the 7daychip if I hold on!

FMM: Two Famous Women

9 May

Before I ever made the decision to start a blog, I became an avid reader of blogs. My Google reader is overflowing with blogs, from healthy living and weight loss blogs to college football and wedding planning (for my BROTHER).

Blogging is really about a community. Bloggers feast on other blogs as inspiration, as an outlet, as fun. When you read the more publicized blogs in these realms, you constantly see references to other bloggers. The connections are real and enviable.

One of the most inspiring blogs I read is from Kenz, All the Weigh. Kenz has a fun feature called Friend Makin’ Mondays, where bloggers who read her fantastic blog answer a question and then comment on other blogs to connect bloggers with others.

Here are the ground rules from Kenz if you want to participate:

If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section here at: http://www.alltheweigh.com so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. By linking back here, everyone will have an opportunity to be equally heard.

FMM: If you could meet someone famous today, who would it be? And why?

This is a tough question for me. I would want to meet someone who is famous but who also could inspire me in my career and in my life. So I’ll split this two ways.

My professional desire would be to meet Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Supreme Court Justice.

Justice Ginsburg is a powerful and effective advocate for women and the poor in the United States. She has been on the Court for many years, and is one of the oldest Justices. Some are calling for her to retire while Obama is still President, but I think she should stay as long as she wants. She is sharp and always quick to defend her opinions. She can still reach across the aisle – she and Justice Scalia are great friends. I think learning from her would be an awesome opportunity.
My second, more mainstream choice for a famous person I want to meet would be Tina Fey.

Credit: Wikipedia

Tina Fey is hilarious. 30 Rock is one of my favorite shows. One thing that not everyone realizes about Tina, though, is that she used to weight more than she does today. She was working at SNL when she lost 30 pounds. All of a sudden, the decision was made for her to be on camera. She realizes the ridiculous standards that women are held to and speaks out about them in her humorous way. She became the first female head writer of SNL around that time too, in a world where female writers have trouble breaking in.  She now has 30 Rock under her watch. 30 Rock is consistently groundbreaking and a great comedic outlet in my life. Tina is pregnant for the second time, and just published a book.  What more can she do? I would love to meet her and learn from her, but also just to soak up her comedy.
Thanks again to Kenz for hosting Friend Makin’ Mondays!