Bad News Bears

16 May

Today I had to deal with some bad news. I don’t want to get too into the specifics since it is not something that happened to me, but someone I love very much. I got this bad news at work today, where I had already eaten my packed lunch and the only food I had in my bag was a banana. My first instinct was to grab and eat the banana quickly to stem the tide of my sadness.

Then I thought about how eating wouldn’t make me feel any better. Sadness is sadness. Food doesn’t cure it. The momentary rush of eating would have only made me feel worse about myself later.

Again, in the afternoon I kept thinking of the things I could stop and buy for dinner. I don’t feel like cooking – so I should by Chick-fil-a! Just run into the grocery store and get a frozen pizza! Thai food! Instead, when I walked home from the Metro I called my mom and chatted with her about my day and assorted topics.

Of course, by the time I was up in my apartment the weather had changed to match my downy mood. Pouring rain falling down, darkness already enveloping my area. It was gone, but then it has returned. Sadly this means I can’t go outside and run/walk like I had planned – all the more reason to do it in the morning. My anxiety about being home alone or something kept me up way too late last night, when I battled the binge demons to finally fall asleep.

Here, today I thought I would celebrate my first #7daychip here on the blog to give myself kudos for 7 days of controlled and healthy eating. It’s not that I am not thrilled with my accomplishment, it’s that today is a reminder of the real challenges of that healthy eating. Today I have been more tempted than I was that entire week, and now it’s about trying to sustain that through all of life’s ups and downs. It’s almost as though I don’t know how to be sad or to help someone through sadness without some reference or connection to food. I will change this.

Time to make a turkey burger with my leftover turkey meat and enjoy it on a sandwich thin with a salad for dinner. 30daychip, I will really earn you more than the 7daychip if I hold on!

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One Response to “Bad News Bears”

  1. suzanne May 17, 2011 at 10:58 am #

    But you did it! You knew what eating at that moment would be. I’m so proud of you.

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